Drunken Robot Pornography is a twitch shooter that is ridiculous, stupid, over-the-top and entirely self-aware of it. It’s called Drunken Robot Pornography for goodness’ sake! The story, such as it is, places you in the rocket powered shoes of Reuben Matsumoto, a Bostonian bar owner who gave his robot barman, Tim, sentience. Tim’s decided that sentience is so rad he’s going to take himself, the 12 other robot staff members, and a mechanised army out from under your employ to terrorise the city.

As I mentioned, it’s an exceptionally stupid story. But that isn’t a problem at all. The game revels in it, choosing to reveal plot elements through a series of angry voicemails left to you by Tim. Other than that, the game basically boils down to “Here’s a preposterously big robot. RUN AROUND AND SHOOT IT ‘TIL IT DOES A DIE!”

Big robots – called Titans, although most of them float instead of fall – are killed by shooting their flashing extremities and blowing them to pieces. Whittle away all the flaily bits and you can shoot the core, causing the robo-foe to explode. Couple this with the copious amounts of little robots which fly around shooting and crashing into you, as well as your ludicrous jumping ability and jet pack, and it makes for a rather fun and frantic experience.

That said, the heightened pace of the game does have its drawbacks. The strict time limits meant that, although I had a hell of a lot of fun, I never had time to explore the levels or experiment with technique as the mission just screams “QUICKLY, SHOOT THE THING, QUICKER! SHOOTIER! QUUUUIIIICKKKKEEEER”. This type of gameplay will be heaven for old-school lovers of Unreal Tournament and worshippers of leaderboards, but for me it all became a little bit pointlessly stressful and hurried. It felt like the game was worried that I’d get bored and take a hammer to my PC if things slowed down.



Titans too are a bit confusing in their design, although this is a very understandable by-product of the whittling mechanic, as most become a whirling mass of bits n’ pieces in a variety of bright colours. Honestly, if I hadn’t been told they were giant robots before hand I could have just as easily thought they were elder gods, elementals or some other large and confusing entity.

The same ethos casts a little shadow over the story and dialogue too. Most of the jokes are on target, falling perfectly between witty and stoopid (yes, with two ‘o’s), but they come so thick and fast that there are just enough dumb ones to lessen the overall comedy. This is especially noticeable when your suit gets an AI and becomes your hi-larious sidekick. It’s as if the writers loved Claptrap from Borderlands and thought “Hey, let’s do that, but make sure he’s with the protagonist all the time!” – it becomes a bit much after a while.

Drunken Robot Pornography is ultimately like a rich chocolate cake – I don’t know why there’re so many food comparisons going on right now, just roll with me on this – delicious at first, but sustained contact can be a little overwhelming. Consume it in small chunks however  (which is something the short missions are perfect for) and it’ll remain delectable for a long, long time.

Oh and listen to the song that plays on the main menu, it’s bloody excellent.


Review: Drunken Robot Pornography
Drunken Robot Pornography is a fun, good looking, slick twitch bullet-hell shooter which tries just a little too hard to get you to like it.
  • Smooth and rewarding controls
  • Very creative visual design
  • Often pretty damn funny
  • Can be a little exhausting
  • ... sometimes very confusing visual design
  • ... until it starts trying a little too hard
7Overall Score
Reader Rating: (0 Votes)

About The Author


Ben is pretty damned nerdy. If he isn't playing video games, then he's probably rolling some dice to hit goblins and thugs or designing, running and crewing a host of LARP systems. He lives in Brighton, because it's nice there. You can follow him on twitter @benrlmeredith

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