This article is not safe for work or those under the age of 18.

Stick Shift is a game about performing manual sex on a car. The gearshift is its penis, you see, and it’s gay — gay for you. It aims to leak its rusty tailpipe all over your private garage through a new Steam Greenlight campaign.

Let me be perfectly clear: The transmission is manual, just like the sex, and the gears represent the stages of sexual excitement culminating in a five-out-of-five climax. The game rewards rhythm, patience, and gentleness just like real sex probably does. This really puts the ‘auto’ in auto-erotica because you engage intimately with an automobile and since you’re likely to be alone while you do it (there is no cooperative mode).

For further demonstration, I refer you to this highly educational video that doesn’t even slightly arouse me. Why would it arouse me?

Developer Robert Yang – whose luscious body of work includes genital-photography simulator Cobra Club – has promised a shiny new coat of paint in the form virtual reality support for the Steam version. Nobody said the paint was white. You just imagined it, and now you can’t stop imagining it.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

About The Author

Community Manager/Editor

Daniel has spent the vast majority of his life immersed deeply in the worlds within games and the culture surrounding them. He hosts The Dead Pixels Podcast, a show celebrating less-than-classic retro games. His tendency toward positivity is tempered by a wealth of knowledge and experience with the medium's history.

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  • Daniel Fox

    This article was my favorite news piece during my tenure here, and I still come back to it on occasion to have a good chuckle.